ah, fall. ah, midterms. i can tell my guy is more stressed out than usual. i'm finding that he's hurting my feelings more often than not, even when i try to distance myself so he can get more studying in.
rant: i know law school is a TON TON TON of work, i know that it requires SO much studying, reading, preparing, writing and concentration. I know that there's not a lot of free time, and what free time there is, most students want to either get ahead or veg out and do nothing.
but it still sucks being in second place all the time. i wish he'd budget a little more "girlfriend" time into his schedule. i've really been trying to keep myself busy, ESPECIALLY during the week because sun night-thurs night are his busiest days. so when i'm gone from 8am to 10:30pm and haven't seen him all day, yeah, i expect a little attention. and when i get home exhausted but happy to see him at 10:30 and i don't even get a hug, but a full on description of how his school rankings went up and a wave in the face basically saying "go away and find something to do, i have to study" all in a 5 minute time period, then yes. my feelings WILL get hurt and he should expect that.
that being said, he slept alone last night for the first time in several months. I was asking for ten minutes of his time. 10 minutes to put the law stuff aside and realize, hey! i have an awesome girlfriend who is trying to support me. maybe i should ask her about HER day and give her a hug and appreciate that she's supportive.
nope. i get a wave in the face, a "you can do that when i'm asleep" (when i play with his hair/ear) and so i walked away. and when he was ready for bed, he let me know and said, you know where to find me.
so nope. i have no sympathy for him being confused when he came into the kitchen and said, "why'd you sleep in the other room?"
for a law student, he can be pretty dense sometimes.
in conclusion: i KNOW the law student has tons on his/her shoulders. I respect the fact that they have signed thier life away to the library etc. I am proud of him for sticking with it, and I appreciate that he tries to make time on the weekend for relaxing and fun. I support him fully in what he's doing. but that does NOT mean that it's okay to take advantage of all the above and not appreciate what he's got in front of him.
i wish I had some fellow law school widows/girlfriends to share with. it's a very lonely battle over here.
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3 comments:
Dude, law school is not *that* much work. It's great that he's dedicated and all, but if he's this unbalanced in his approach to life as a law student, what do you think he will be like as a lawyer?
It might help to find some other law school girlfriends/wives, but what you're describing is not normal.
ugh. i don't really know what to do. he's so focused on being one of the best (not so much a gunner, but he wants to keep his scholarship money and the like). he studies every night until 10:30 or so and gets up at 7. i mean, we do find time to spend together, but with midterms and whatnot he's stressed. thanks for your perspective, i dont know anyone else who is dating a law student and while i'm trying to avoid being whiney and whatnot (because i have a good idea of the amount of stress law students are under) it's hard to get the bigger picture sometimes.
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